16 October 2007

Scott and James discuss the empire

Scott:
"I say, Sir Reginald, these natives don't seem to be at all keen to become part of the Empire. Perhaps the Royal Society should have embarked on some research before sending us to colonise them?"
"Research. Bottomley? Pah! One does not need research! One simply does! We are men of action, what?! I say....gack!"
"Sir Reginald? Sir? Oh dear. What do you think, Gerald?"
"I think Sir Reginald should have researched how to avoid getting speared in the throat, Sergeant."
"Wise as as ever, Gerald."

James:

"I say, Sir Ramsbottom, this Africa thingummy. It seems to be rather... larger than anticipated."
"Dashed indecent of these fuzzywuzzies, in my opinion, Flatley. Once we've colonised we'll have to trim the place down a bit."
"Yes, that will be splendid, once we've colonised it. For now, though... I hate to be a bother, Sir, but we do only have three days' worth of cucumber and watercress sandwiches. That rather dusky fellow suggested our trip down the Congo may take weeks."
"Good heavens, man! You know what this means?"
"Yes. We'll have to eat the local, ah, cuisine."
"Yes, and me with my gippy tummy."
"The dusky fellow I was speaking to said we should have done some research before coming."
"Research! Gad! The nerve of him! We are Englishmen! If the world does not conform to our uneducated expectations, then that is the world's fault!"

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