25 October 2006
"don't make me laugh"
"maroon and purple ARE the same colour"
"i find your hypothesis doubtful"
"an alternative political system based on the behaviour of african elephants is not feasible at this point in time."
and it would appear i haven't had any sick leave without medical certificates this year. i been good.
so be "sick" sometime
possibly. when i not El Juaning
don't let El Juaning stop you
*strikes pose* i have responsibilities and obligations! my duty is to remain at the helm even as the ship sinks!
hello... you're a public servant
a servant of the public! i shall set a shining example of servitude!
Krap Karate does not work on chickens.*
* Nor, as it happens, on anything else
Hehe. I just had a mental picture of an evil chicken overlord, dressed in evil overlord uniform, sneering down at cartoon superhero and declaring "Krap Karate does not work on chickens". Then he unleashes the giant robot chicken army of doom.
24 October 2006
23 October 2006
18 October 2006
I'm only pretending to be here while I answer a bloody long survey... why did I have to be randomly selected?
Have you ever used a theodolite before?
What is a theodolite again?
A theodolite is that telescope-on-a-tripod thing surveyors use.
"Arrrrr", said the surveyor, "this be a fine place to build road. Fetch me pirate road building wenches!"
17 October 2006
Porridge for you in the kitchen
we're not having toast anymore
gotta eat it up quickly
or i'll give it away to the homeless and poor
There's no breakfast cereal like porridge-ness
as it drips off the spoon and goes gloop.
16 October 2006
*stomps over to James' office*
I'm concerned about the lack of direction and instruction you've been providing James [surname]. The inability to provide him with information is not grounds to then complain about the quality of the work he produces, and I would fully expect you to improve in that regard. Additionally I find your lack of consideration for his personal situation to be appalling. With respect I think you should take your head out of your arse and allow me to kick said arse repeatedly with my big boots of stompy arse kicking. Failure to respond to this notice will imply consent to the arse kicking. Responding to this notice will also imply consent. You're screwed either way.
13 October 2006
10 October 2006
nah, i simple. cut me open and analyse my DNA and the chromosomes will spell "simple"
Don't tempt me
you and what army, puny human?
Me and myself and I. I don't need an army bigger than that. If you so simple, you will crumble before my complication