After bitching about inconsiderate colleagues
I hope you yelled at them
and then stabbed them to death
...and fed their remains to that judge on Masterchef.
...and in turn fed that judge to a herd of ravenous barracudamice.
The bumblebeaver is the world's busiest animal, it is true, but the little-known and yet widely-feared barracudamouse takes the record for being the world's hungriest.
[And then from a discussion about food]
over peppering is bad
Too much pepper might make the barracudamice sneeze, and then there'd be chunks flying everywhere at near-sonic speeds.
[and then back to the main silliness]
The world's strangest animal, however, is without a doubt the creampiethon. This rarely seen ambush predator drapes itself in coils around its prey and smothers it in cream.
We could do millions of these...
The piguana, and its miniature breed, the guinea piguana...
Rhinocerodents, which infest your walls and leave holes in the skirting boards the size of Kombi vans...
The spocktopus, a deeply logical creature with green blood, also the only animal other than humans able to raise one eyebrow...
The squidiot - a pale soft-bodied human which loves to get into political arguments it can never win; it escapes without having to
admit defeat by ejecting a cloud of ink and running away...
The ballpointpenguin, which write stern letters to the editor when threatened by carnivores...
Fryingpanthers, reknowned for their culinary skills...
Motorcyclops, the leather clad hoon of Greek legend...
The paraleagle, the only raptor with understanding of criminal law, often seen defending other raptors in mammal-murder cases...