20 December 2006

Scott has language

Scott:
bah. i feel bad about saying this, but not only does this colleague (who is working here temporarily while someone is on maternity leave) have a classical witch's hooked nose, but she wears WAY too much makeup and perfume. The smell makes me ill when she walks past.

Rebecca:
tell her you are scent sensitive and find the amount of perfume she wears makes you feel ill

Scott:
I wonder if there's anyway i can get her to say "i'll get you my pretty and your little dog too"?

mmmm....i think i'm going to hell for that thought. i take it back.

Rebecca:
well there is... write it down on a post-it-note and stick it on her desk. She'll probably read it out loud before looking around the room for who wrote it... and perhaps not even understanding where its from. Make sure you disguise your handwriting though

Scott:
no, i refuse. even if she has the honker of a witch and wear's enough makeup to safely protect the underside of the shuttle during re-entry that doesn't make her a bad person

Scott:
and in the meantime i shall learn how to us apostrophes.

Rebecca:
an excellent idea

Scott:
and also how to type.

Rebecca:
you're asking a bit much aren't you?

Scott:
clearyl

Rebecca:
let's start small

Scott:
mmm cheese

Rebecca:
well I was thinking apostrophes

Scott:
but i can't eat apostrophes, or have melted ones on toast

Rebecca:
did we say you could?

Scott's latest comment on this blog

may that blog make all those that read it suffer a painful death by a
million screaming knife wielding pygmies.

Scott has nooks and crannies

Rebecca:
*laugh* Yay for nooks and crannies
What crannies do men have anyway?

Scott:
oh, the usual ones.

Rebecca:
be more specific

Scott:
you demand cranny specificity?

Rebecca:
I demand a map or at least a good description

Scott:
no, my crannies shall remain mysterious.

Rebecca:
why?

Scott:
because there be dragons

Rebecca:
you can fit dragons into your crannies? Now I am intrigued

Scott:
i have amazing crannies

Rebecca:
evidently

Scott:
Lonely Planet wrote a guide book about them

Rebecca:
What did they call this book?

Scott:
the Rough Guide to Scott's Intriguing Crannies.

Rebecca:
and where would I buy a copy?

Scott:
Any bad book shop should have one.

Rebecca:
so you won't tell me about your crannies, but everyone else knows?

Scott:
ah the mysteries of life.

13 December 2006

Scott is sane

I am cheese weasel! I wear a crownly wheel of cheese! Virgins shall be sacrificed in my giant fondu!

12 December 2006

Scott loves training

God forgive me but this presenter looks so like a hot air balloon. I keep expecting him to float up to the ceiling.