I'm reading the state police website... and I could have sworn that one of the options available after completing four years of general police duties was 'an application to the Arson Squid'.
Scott:
Arson Squid, the cephalapod superhero. If you need something set on fire in a hurry, Arson Squid's your man.....squid....thing. But he can only operate underwater.
"Look, a giant meteorite is heading straight for us!"
"Don't worry, Arson Squid will save the day!"
*cue stirring theme music, Arson Squid jetting through the ocean with a box of matches in its tentacles*
"Yay! Its Arson Squid! Save us Arson Squid!"
*Arson Squid strikes a match to no effect. He's underwater after all. He keeps striking matches, oblivious to the inherent problems with his situation*
"Uh.....Arson Squid doesn't seem that useful...."
*planet is obliterated by meteor. the end*
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