"Have you heard?? James is bi!! *schoolgirl squeal*"
"James is going to buy what?"
"No! He's bi! BI! *schoolgirl squeal*"
"He's a bi- what? Bivalve? Bicycle? Biplane?"
"Noooo! A bisexual. You know. He likes boys as much as girls! *schoolgirl squeal*"
"Oh. So, what, you think we should buy him a cake?"
"What?? Noooooo! Why does he need a cake?"
"Well you're obviously making such a big deal of it that it seems we should do something to celebrate. Buy him a cake. In fact, go to the shops and buy stuff for a morning tea tomorrow."
"But.....why? What? How? I don't understand!"
"Go buy morning tea stuff because if you squeal in here one more time I'm going to stab you to death with my keyboard."
At least, that's one possible scenario of what might happen in some alternate universe somewhere. Hey, its not all bad, at least there's cake.
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