"Sweet bagels" sounds like some kind of oath.
"Oh sweet bagels! That dinosaur is eating the President!"
21 May 2008
Scott goes hunting
Scott:
Argh! Its the dreaded McPoutbeast! Jeeves, get my hunting tongs ready!
James:
Dreadfully sorry, sir, but Emily the scullery maid has the tongs, sir. You asked her to polish all the silver, sir, and the hunting tongs were in the silver cabinet.
Sir.
Scott:
Dammit man, I can't let a magnificent beast like that get away! Imagine what its head would like above the fireplace in the manor house? Fetch my grandfather's inlaid hunting spork - it may not be the right tool for the job but I'll be damned if I let this one get away!
James:
*cough* Dreadfully sorry, sir, but the spork is silver, too.
I do, however, have a wooden fighting ladle.
Scott:
What do you make me for, some kind of barbarian? Some kind of working class scum? Some kind of, of, of French person?? No Snodgrass-Wildebeast has ever wielded a ladle in combat and I'll not be the first! Damn your eyes! Next thing you'll be suggesting I stop rogering the kitchen staff on Wednesday afternoons!
Argh! Its the dreaded McPoutbeast! Jeeves, get my hunting tongs ready!
James:
Dreadfully sorry, sir, but Emily the scullery maid has the tongs, sir. You asked her to polish all the silver, sir, and the hunting tongs were in the silver cabinet.
Sir.
Scott:
Dammit man, I can't let a magnificent beast like that get away! Imagine what its head would like above the fireplace in the manor house? Fetch my grandfather's inlaid hunting spork - it may not be the right tool for the job but I'll be damned if I let this one get away!
James:
*cough* Dreadfully sorry, sir, but the spork is silver, too.
I do, however, have a wooden fighting ladle.
Scott:
What do you make me for, some kind of barbarian? Some kind of working class scum? Some kind of, of, of French person?? No Snodgrass-Wildebeast has ever wielded a ladle in combat and I'll not be the first! Damn your eyes! Next thing you'll be suggesting I stop rogering the kitchen staff on Wednesday afternoons!
13 May 2008
Scott and the shiny arsed baboons
Scott:
their arses shine so much in the wild that large groups can often be mistaken for the lights of villages and towns from a distance.
James:
The Shiny-Arsed Swamp Baboon is reputed to use its shiny arse to lure travellers off the path in treacherous marshlands, and when they are hopelessly lost attempt to sell them Amway products.
Scott:
The Greater Flashing Savannah Hurdler Baboon uses its arse to signal its location to the other members of its troup every time it leaps above grass level. That way the troup is able to coordinate its assault on unwary tourists and force them to buy poorly made, cheesy, crap trinkets that take up far too much space in their luggage on the way home.
James:
The Lesser Eyespotted Baboon from the Aspen region of Utah flashes its bright buttock-mounted eyespots to confuse tourists, who later find themselves holding signed timeshare accommodation contracts that they do not recall having signed.
Scott:
The Alabama Great Posterior Baboon uses its arse as a signal and a warning to other members of its troup that it is moving backwards. Due to the size of its buttocks it is unable to view anything immediately behind it and has thus evolved a flashin arse signal with accompanying beeping sound to warn troup members and thus not accidentally injure or incapacitate them.
their arses shine so much in the wild that large groups can often be mistaken for the lights of villages and towns from a distance.
James:
The Shiny-Arsed Swamp Baboon is reputed to use its shiny arse to lure travellers off the path in treacherous marshlands, and when they are hopelessly lost attempt to sell them Amway products.
Scott:
The Greater Flashing Savannah Hurdler Baboon uses its arse to signal its location to the other members of its troup every time it leaps above grass level. That way the troup is able to coordinate its assault on unwary tourists and force them to buy poorly made, cheesy, crap trinkets that take up far too much space in their luggage on the way home.
James:
The Lesser Eyespotted Baboon from the Aspen region of Utah flashes its bright buttock-mounted eyespots to confuse tourists, who later find themselves holding signed timeshare accommodation contracts that they do not recall having signed.
Scott:
The Alabama Great Posterior Baboon uses its arse as a signal and a warning to other members of its troup that it is moving backwards. Due to the size of its buttocks it is unable to view anything immediately behind it and has thus evolved a flashin arse signal with accompanying beeping sound to warn troup members and thus not accidentally injure or incapacitate them.
9 May 2008
Scott forms a committee
Scott:
This is the headline from hell, guaranteed to kill your brain. The copy editor that came up with this one will probably be smirking for the rest of his life: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7390109.stm
Michelle:
one wonders how the Lesser Tits are getting on...
James:
Last I heard, they were forming a committee.
Scott:
A small committee?
James:
Very small. Itty-bitty, you could say.
Scott:
Which would then nicely lead itself to being called a... Committee for the Study of Climate Change Impact on Avian Species, in Particular the Lesser Tit.
James:
Catchy.
This is the headline from hell, guaranteed to kill your brain. The copy editor that came up with this one will probably be smirking for the rest of his life: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7390109.stm
Michelle:
one wonders how the Lesser Tits are getting on...
James:
Last I heard, they were forming a committee.
Scott:
A small committee?
James:
Very small. Itty-bitty, you could say.
Scott:
Which would then nicely lead itself to being called a... Committee for the Study of Climate Change Impact on Avian Species, in Particular the Lesser Tit.
James:
Catchy.
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