Scott is open-minded

I really need to try some fish action.

Scott is ambivalent about cheese

I am a master of naming cheeses.

Mind you, I'm also reluctant to put anything called Spoffing Arthwarton in my mouth...

Scott names a cheese

[In response to Cheddarvision.tv's request to name their cheese...]

and I christen thee.....
...Abundant Weasleton. A fine name for a cheese.

or it could be Curious Barnabus...
or Spoffing Arthwarton...

personally i like the taste of a nice Bluffing Funtworthy.
or a good Peculiar Gruntleton.

Oh, and yes, I am submitting these names to the website.
...including Mr Brown's Spontaneous Trumpleton, and Ecclesiastic Funk

Grumpert Boodlington!
Grommit's Lesser Cheese of Paradise!
Salacious Tweedleton!

Ok, I'm done now.

Scott considers his worshippers

Mmm cargo cults. They're building a big statue of me out of banana tree leaves.

Scott uncovers a conspiracy

In response to this news story...

Scott:
"You know, we were lucky this time, things could have been much worse."
"Sir, I'm not sure I follow.....it was just a cow."
"Yes, that was most people think, but I know the truth, I've seen what they're capable of doing."
"What, you mean like eating grass and going 'moo'?"
"Mark my words, Constable, this is just the start. The others will be moving soon."
"Others?"
"The other cows in the sleeper cell."
"Uh...."
"We've been infiltrated by Al Qaeda terrorist cows, Constable. There's no knowing where or when they'll strike next."
"Sir, I really think you should have a nice lie down."
"Lie down when there's terrorist cows on the loose? Are you mad?? When this cow comes round I want you to take into custody for questioning."
"It'll only say 'moo' sir."
"Oh it'll talk eventually. They all break in the end. If you're lucky, Constable, you could be the man that stops this country from becoming victim to yet another terrorist cow plot."
"Uh......great...."

Scott busts some variations on a theme

Michelle:
Scott is probably plotting new eenie meenies as we speak

Amber:
Unsurprising...

Scott:
eenie meenie minie stab
stab stab stab stab stab stab stab
stab stab stab stab stab stab
eenie meenie minie stab

Scott and friends bust some rhymes

(Bear with us on this one - the set-up is required!)

Amber:
Machines suck.

Rebecca:
Machines may suck... depending on the use for which they were produced

Michelle:
computers are not vacuum cleaners

Rebecca:
Exactly... but they do have vents to draw in air to cool the CPU... so they suck a bit

Scott:
but they also have vents to expel warm air, so they both suck and blow.

Amber:
eenie meenie minie mo

James:
Catch a PC by the toe.
Does it suck or does it blow?
Eenie meenie minie mo.

Amber:
I think I'd be more concerned by the presence of feet than any reaction caused by the grabbing thereof

James:
Oh... how about:
Eeenie meenie minie mongle
Catch a PC by the dongle...

Scott:
eenie meenie minie mod
watch my PC die by BSOD
if it boots give thanks to god
eeenie meenie minie mod

Michelle:
eenie meenie minie may
I hope my PC works today
or else I'll boot it far away
eenie meenie minie may

Amber:
It's a toss-up as to which I like best...

Rebecca:
Blog them both!

Scott:
eenie meenie minie moat
an evil blog stores what I wrote
may its owner die by goat
eenie meenie minie moat

Michelle:
eenie meenie minie may
Scott's blog gets better day by day
we hope it never goes away
eenie meenie minie may

Scott likes having fans

It is official, I am a god. I may be only a small god worshipped by a few residents of an island that probably still suffers radioactive fallout from nuclear testing, but I am still a god. Mmmm cargo cults.

Scott is a free spirit

if i had no financial issues i would happily wander around all day with my pants around my ankles.

Scott has amazing pants

Scott:
when i put them on the whole lower half of my body is blanked out, like the fuzzy pixellation you get on TV news reports when they can't show you someone's face

Michelle:
so if we all squint intensely at your legs, the picture should resolve like one of those magic eye pictures

Scott:
indeed. stare long enough and you can see a duck playing a harmonica.

Scott is mighty

Rebecca:
You shall be my idol

Scott:
and a fine one you have selected. indeed, the greatest

Rebecca:
yay greatness!

Scott:
a mighty gold colossus

Rebecca:
oooh nice

Scott:
giant gold plated genitals swinging in the breeze so that all those pedestrians might gaze up as they pass between my golden calfs and gasp in awe.

i am a mighty colossus, a golden idol a thousand foot high

Scott is disturbing

the last one made me squeal like a pleasure piggy