Scott discusses politics

Rebecca:
Why is the US looking at bombing Iran?

Scott:
Combination of the neo-con policy of removing potential challengers to US global supremacy, poor intelligence gathering, a sincere belief on the part of some agency officials that they could actually win a war with Iran and as a distraction from US internal politics.

Nothing at all whatsoever to do with stuffing weasels down the ayatollah's pants.

. . .

Mostly not the weasels because the CIA can't pinpoint the location of the Iranian president with the degree of accuracy required to launch an intercontinental ballistic weasel at him. The US fears the media fallout that would occur if their ICBWs landed amongst the civilian population.

Scott is weird (still)

Scott:
*roflwswdhp*

Amber:
Scott - stop being weird

Scott:
what's weird about "rolls on floor laughing while stuffing weasels down his pants"?

Scott revisits goats

Amber:
But a question for Scott... what, exactly, would be the difference between 'goat' and 'superlatively goat'?

Scott:
I guess that would just be an iconic goat, a goat of such supreme goatness that it embodies the very idea of what a goat is. it'd be like a greek god of goats.

Scott talks of suckage

Amber:
Guess who's on reception ALL DAY today and can't get away from the desk to buy breakfast (or coffee)? I love my life. I really do

Rebecca:
that does indeed suck

James:
Brimming over with the suck. Indeed, the suck is pooling around the base of it.

Scott:
"can i have someone with a mop and bucket to aisle 6 please, suck spillage needs mopping"

Scott and the French waiter shark - Part II

'The French Waiter Shark vs. The Beanikin': now there's a straight-to-DVD movie if ever there was one

Scott gets into the Easter confectionery a little too soon

Amber:
You're full of crap.

Scott:
I'm full of egg.

Scott likes Lance Henriksen

I just love his voice - it's like listening to gravel

Scott and the French waiter shark - Part I

My French waiter shark can take on your Wham! any day

Scott finds pleasure in the small things

My pants are all warm

Scott is a child of the technological age

I was going to fire up the computer and check it out... but do you mind if I use your bedroom window to see what the weather looks like?

Scott is tired

Your brain-deadedness is affecting me this morning.
Afternoon.
Whatever.
SHUT UP.

Scott resents a bad joke

You know I'm going to have to drown you in that bowl now

Scott is fascinated by a nose

Look at it. It just.... glows with hugeness

Scott is not a fan of piggybanks from Ikea

If those things were in my bathroom... I'd never get undressed again

Scott and astrology

because the moon was in the house of gingerbread and thus the stars had aligned in my favour.

Scott finds out this blog has been listed on StumbleUpon

i hate you. i have moved beyond hating you with sporks or goats. i don't know what rating of hate i've reached right now, but its probably up somewhere around hating you with roller-skate wearing rocket-propelled uber-goats in mickey mouse hats.

Scott creates extruded fantasy product

James:
[fantasy name 1], a young [peasant occupation] in the kingdom of [fantasy place name 1], has his world turned upside down when he discovers that he is the heir of [fantasy name 2], a legendary [heroic occupation]. This awakens incredible [powers / skills / magic] in him, which is immediately put to the test, as [fantasy name 2]'s ancient enemy [fantasy bad guy name] and his army of [fantasy monsters] converge on [fantasy place name 1] to destroy the heir and steal the throne. Can [fantasy name 1] survive a perilous journey to [fantasy place name 2] in order to find the [powerful item] that will save both him and his kingdom?

Scott:
Plastos the Barge, a young meatsmith in the kingdom of Scumdar, has his world turned upside down when he discovers that he is the heir of Ivan the Crapulent, a legendary wig warrior. This awakens incredible hair summoning powers in him, which is immediately put to the test, as Ivan's ancient enemy Inflatable Lord Bruce and his army of rabbit-dragons converge on Castle Scumdar to destroy the heir and steal the throne. Can Plastos the Barge survive a perilous journey to the Lost City of Bugger-em in order to find the golden wig of the screaming pygmy god that will save both him and his kingdom?

Scott invents meaning

Amber:
my boss has failed to notice that the word 'country' has an 'o' in it. this is unfortunate.

Also, apparently I'm 'doing grat work' on the China files.

I'm not sure what that is exactly, but it doesn't sound comfortable

Scott:
Grat is the basement filing goblin they employ and she's telling you that you're doing all his work. If you're not careful he'll get upset and come after you with his Club of Unavoidable Paperwork

Scott and foxes

Scott:
I was speaking, of course, of the Mongolian Desert Pouting Fox.

James:
"Awww, the rabbit got away..." *pout*

Scott:
indeed. also known for its hunting technique of attaching its lips to its prey and attempting to suck its face off

Scott likes reasons

Rebecca:
how does you know?

Scott:
because

Rebecca:
that's one of them non-reasons

Scott:
its a fine reason. see how it shines. see how it shows off its fantastic plumage to the female reasons.

Scott claims normality

Rebecca:
Do you think that Scott is normal?

James:
Urm.
No.
But normal is boring.

Rebecca:
he thinks he's normal

James:
*laugh*
No.

Rebecca:
well he does think it, and he keeps stating so

James:
Yes, just like all the delusional schizophrenics who are assured of their perfect sanity.

Rebecca:
I'll tell him that shall I?

James:
Sure. :)

Scott:
Pfft, James is hardly an expert on normality. I mock his judgements, laugh at his thought processes and debase his bonsais.

Scott and sporks

Scott:
I'll kill you with sporks!

Rebecca:
Do I get to keep the sporks that are impaled in me?

Scott:
Yes

Rebecca:
In that case, I'd like 6

Scott:
I was thinking hundreds. I'll turn you into a sporkupine!