21 September 2007

Scott's sick mind and body

I don't know if its the Strepsils making me sleepy or the lunch in the fresh air I just had, but in an effort to remain awake I have been coming up with headlines I'd love to see in the newspapers.

"Abbot and Costello in Swedish Sauna Tryst!
'It Was a Caucus Meeting' says Treasurer!'"

"Surgeon General Finds Surgeon General Bad for Nation's Health:
Causes Stress and Anxiety Which Leads to Heart Attack"

"Golf Stripped of Sports Status:
'We Were Only Kidding Ourselves' says Golfing Federation"

"Coal Industry Reveals it Bought Fed Government:
Declares it 'Matched Office Wallpaper'"

"Canberra Outlaws Rednecks:
Queensland Threatens to Secede"

"Bob Brown Sworn in as PM, Replaces COM Cars With Bicycles:
Backbenchers Snatch Up Nation's Supply of Extra-Large Bike Shorts"

"Pentagon Finds WMD: 'He's in the Whitehouse'"

"Connex Reveals Solution to Train Crisis:
Tells Commuters to Stop Going to Work"

"Bill Gates Buys Belgium:
'Let's See Those Linux Losers Copy This' Says Billionaire"

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