Scott starts writing an opera

Scott:
Paperwork! Paperwork!
We're generating excessive amounts of
paperwork! paperwork!
I can't understand why we all need so much of this
paperwork! paperwork!
they just found a corpse under a huge pile of
paperwork! paperwork!

James:
We are
The ones who love the tape of red!
We work
So slowly you might think us dead!

We fight
The evils of efficiency!
We love
Our deeply mired bureaucracy!

Scott:
I am the evil queen of stationery
I deny your request maliciously
and yet order stock rapaciously!
I guard the cupboard key courageously
the staff are terrified of me
for I am the queen of stationery!

(the second part of the stationery queen section: the queen confronted by the pleading mob)

Can I get a leather bound diary?
No!
Can I have a pen that won't ink spray me?
No!
A stapler that won't staple me?
No!
A pad with more than pages three?
No!
Paper recycled instead of from a tree?
No!

For I am the queen of stationery

and I deny your request
I deny your request
I deny your requeeeeeest
because I'm me!

James:
Oh come, come with me,
There's a thing that you must see.
Let's use the photocopier for non-work-related things!

Some party invitations,
Or a map of railway stations,
It's a joy to run off mountains of non-work-related things!

Though the code of conduct says that it's prohibited,
Everybody does it just a little bit!

I need fifty of this flier,
And sheet music for my choir.
Let's squander corporate assets on non-work-related things!

I'll waste an entire forest
Printing jokes about Chuck Norris!
I just can't get enough of these non-work-related things!

Scott:
I didn't get in til past 10 and i'll be leaving at 3:30
It looks as if I'm doing work but in reality i'm not.
I skip from cubicle to cubicle and I'm feeling kind of flirty
I'm the bastard of the office and I think I'm really hot.

Oh they call it harassment
And I am an embarrassment
I'll scream out 'entrapment!'
when they eventually bring me down

They say that when I'm gone they all feel dirty
and instead of smoking cigarettes i'm always smoking pot
i make crude jokes and say my keyboard's 'squirty'
I'm the bastard of the office and I think I'm really hot.

Oh they call it harassment
And I am an embarrassment
I'll scream out 'entrapment!'
when they eventually bring me down