Scott tries on middle management

Scott:
Children children, let's play nice now or I'll take your toys away.

You're not here to play, you're here to work and slave and make the big bossman lots of money. You are not a man, you are a number. You're a cog in the great machine. All hail the great machine!

Amber:
I'm not a man either.

Scott:
Whoops, sorry, I was a on a middle management roll and forgot. Let's just assume what i said applied to James only, so that lets both of us off the hook

James:

I am not a man either.

I am a cunningly disguised penguin.

Scott:
well that explains a lot.

James:

Little does he know that I am actually an evil sentient wheel of Jarlsberg disguised as a penguin disguised as a man...

Scott:
Explains even more

James:
...and you said I have no culture. :P

Scott:
Amber and Bec, you're closer, can you please pummel James to death for that pun.

Rebecca:
Mmmm... beating James tonight...

*gets whip out*

Clean that kitchen, scub that floor... *whip crack*

*manicial laughter*

Scott:
bah, I got cats on the brain, I read that as "clean that kitten"

Scott has a theory

James:
I also have a theory about the brontosaurus.

Rebecca:
Let me guess... its your theory and nobody else's?

James:
Yes, it is my theory, which is mine.

Scott:
My theory is the dinosaurs all died out because the mammals came back from work after a couple of days away to find out that the dinosaurs had been sitting around on their tails and hitting each other on the head with trilobites. So the mammals killed them in a frenzy of bloodlust.

James:
Oooh, your theory is much better than mine! Mine didn't involve any trilobites at all!

Scott:
Every theory requires trilobites, regardless of subject matter

Scott returns to work after an absense

Scott:
Christ, you take 2 miserable days off work and everything goes to hell in a handbasket. Fucking public servants can't get anything right! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!

I drove for 6 and half hours and nearly got booked for speeding.

James:
"Nearly"?

Sounds intriguing. Tell us more...

Scott:
Meh, last minute spottage of polic car hidden behind bushes, me slamming on brakes to bring the car down to something approaching the speed limit, braking hard enough for the car to lurch wildly, then cruusing past said copper as if nothing had happened and I was as innocent as a Hillsong choirboy.

Rebecca:
How fast were you going Scott before slamming on the breaks?

James:
Can't have been THAT fast. I mean, how much does anyone hurry when returning to Canberra?

Scott:
Its not the returning to Canberra bit that makes you drive fast, its the fleeing Melbourne bit that does it. :-P

Scott is clumsy

So Julia leans over the partition to talk about a work problem and I stop writing my email and lean forward with my head on my hands and elbow on the table....except my elbow misses the table completely and I hit my head. I want to go home...